Many years ago in my strategic management consulting days, I was tasked by a C-suite leader to investigate how an acquisition had been valued. In hindsight, the team had significantly overvalued the business, and the CFO wanted to understand what we could learn for future deals.

Among other causes, I found a calculation error that inflated the price. When I raised it, the team lead insisted I call it an ‘input variation’, not an error. The CFO wasn’t impressed. With some ferocity, he told me to call it what it is: We stuffed up. Call it an error!

This was a great lesson, but it also highlighted a common frustration for senior executives everywhere: Why don’t people admit their mistakes?

My initial assumption was that taking blame makes them look bad, and they don’t like criticism. That pointed the finger at ego – and sure, ego plays a role – but is that the whole story? This assumption might be true sometimes, but it’s a pretty useless perspective if I wanted to create more transparent and open cultures across diverse teams. It got me thinking: What else might be true?

Assumptions: Fast, flippant and often flawed

As humans, we naturally use assumptions to navigate the world. Assumptions are fast and convenient but rarely perfect. Judging others as ‘egotistical’ might feel satisfying, but it offers little use if we need to influence change. If I tell someone to stop being so egotistical and more transparent, I suspect it may backfire.

As leaders, we need to understand, motivate and influence large, diverse groups. Not everyone who hides a mistake has a massive ego. I didn’t hide my report card as a kid because of my arrogance. This is where empathy and perspective-taking become more than a soft skill.

If we want to be a leader worth following, we need the capabilities to really understand what drives people. To know why people do what they do.

Exploring with empathy

Sadly, many papers written on empathy focus on why it is important, but not how to apply it. This is why, as a speaker and trainer on empathy, I developed a Perspective Taking Tool to make empathy practical.

Here is how it works: Write the behavior you’re trying to understand in a box, in the middle of a sheet of paper, for example, ‘People not owning their errors.’ Then, to the left, brainstorm rational reasons for this behavior. This could be:

• Didn’t know it was an error worth talking about

• Unsure of how to speak about issues

• Don’t have the capacity to fix or redo the work

• Had no idea an error was made in the first place

• Don’t know who they should speak to

Whether or not you find these compelling reasons or not doesn’t matter. The point is to get outside your own narrow perspective and consider what might be driving others.

Next, to the right of the box consider potential emotional drivers:

• Fear of losing their job

• Embarrassment of making mistakes in front of peers

• Arrogance or egotistical beliefs

• Concern for the impact it will have on others

• Guilt or shame about making the mistake

In this list, you can already see a diversity of drivers ranging from arrogance at one end to fear and shame at the other. Again, these may not drive you – but this is not about you, it is about understanding others. Imagine accusing someone of being an egotistical jerk when they are already burdened with heavy guilt on their shoulders.

We can also examine macrostructural or policy drivers: regulatory scrutiny, hierarchical reporting lines, internal competition, reward structures and punitive rules. Consider cultural drivers, too; these include avoidant cultures that fear conflict; aggressive cultures that blame and ostracize failures; or the ‘only good news’ cultures that sweep issues under the rug.

Finally, take into account social influences – the reactions and perceptions of peers, customers and especially managers. How a manager reacts to the first issue raised sends a strong message to everyone on what they should do when the next mistakes happen.

Changing our minds first to influence others

Stepping back, there are many reasons people don’t take ownership of mistakes and it may be more than one. Being right, is not the point, though. The goal isn’t to land on the reason or accept the behavior as inevitable. Errors will occur, and we need to address them – but with more empathy for people, we are better placed to lead and influence change.

This is the power of empathy. It isn’t a soft skill, it is challenging. It isn’t being nice, it is seeking understanding. Empathy is the ability to explore diverse human behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment. To break out of assumptions in search of more. Empathy helps us build teams, organizations and communities with more trust, connection and commitment.

In a world where algorithms are being deployed rapidly to automate decisions, reinforce biases and accelerate our judgmental nature, it will be those who develop and embed empathy as a strategic capability that will create sustainable competitive advantage. Empathy is no longer a ‘nice to have’; in our modern world, it is among the most valued human skills we have left.

Opinions expressed by The CEO Magazine contributors are their own.